Be your own hype-man
From my experience, those with chronic low self-esteem seem to struggle to see themselves objectively. Sometimes people feel surprised or uncomfortable when receiving compliments because they see themselves as having achieved their goals by accident rather than by design.
Strangely, these people can often see others with more positive objectivity. For example, we may attribute failures or mistakes in another persons’ life to accidents and unforeseen circumstances outside of their control. We do this in part to save our image of them as someone who is responsible for their successes, to see them in the best possible light.
When we do this of ourselves, we call this the self-serving bias. My theory is that those with low self-esteem exhibit the reverse bias: disowning our own successes but giving others credit for their wins.
The trick is simply to recognize that we are being fair to others and apply this to ourselves. How? Imagine you are your own hype-man.
In rap and hip-hop, the hype man boosts the star performer and gets the crowd pumped up. Essentially, they’re the opposite of a trash-talker.
If I asked you to tell me the story of your best friend’s life, you would likely try to put a positive spin on everything and create an overarching narrative arc.
So just do the same for yourself. Step outside yourself for a moment, with all of your specific knowledge, and think about what an employer or hiring manager might see or wonder when looking at the facts of your work and education history.
If you notice any weaknesses they might press on, prepare to tell a human story about your willingness to always improve and learn from your mistakes.
Practice telling your story to a hype-person in your life and see if they agree you’re portraying yourself favorably. Let them guide you into a fuller, richer story in which you are the hero and not the victim.
After all, if anyone’s going to believe in you, it better be you.
H/T: Isaac Morehouse for inspiration.
